i didn't know the weight of my tongue,
NO ONE SAYS "I'M SORRY" MORE THAN I DO


p.s. woody allen's new movie is starring larry david!

i already miss the feeling of thick smoke in my lungs!

rip packs of smokes, rip.

everything was beautiful and nothing hurt

so i welcome 2009 wholeheartedly w/open arms

even little panic attacks are big problems

cause and effect is tricky business.

i want to lovelovelove for the next week.

i will miss him when he leaves again.

i need a hobby.

please help me grow.

i wish you knew every thought that entered my mind.

i miss old friends and times, don't regret a single thing
and want to see you soon.

toasted pb&j's rule too too much

i'm starting to itch.

i am having one of the worst days in months.
i don't really understand why austin rules so much,
maybe it's because i can't go out and drink,
but would i if i could? i do not know,.

i do know, sleeping alone is really hard
i finally fall to sleep around three or four and
usually wake up around nine, ten at the latest.
i love to sleep but it really hates me right now

i started my period today, i think as soon
as i saw blood i started getting in this mood.
it was a weird thing, and i tried to stray away from
getting really shitty but it did not work.

i have been listening to too much gram parsons
why don't people make country music like this anymore?

after turning nineteen i really did feel older
i paid my first real bill the next day, i had a
really good birthday with my two favorite girls
hannah brought me a bottle of champage and we
drank that together
carly got me really nice gifts and took me to eat
my mother made me a really cozy blanket and i love
her with all my heart. she is the only person i know
i will never stop loving.

sean is in california. most of the time i know i will
be with him for the rest of my life but then everyone
else tells me different. it sucks to have no one on our side
i trust and believe in him more than anyone ever will
i feel like no one could love me as much as he loves me
i feel his love through the phone lines and even when
he is away i know he is really with me mentally.
that is why i don't understand why i am so shitty right now
damn periodddddd, it's hard to do this

i also feel i am getting uglier with age, that's another
thing that really blows. my face has changed. it really has
so has my outlook on some things, in a good way maybe
hopefully

i want my home covered in flowers


i miss this

sean has been gone since april 26
he is coming home in 2 days!!!!!
i can't wait, i bought this really cute
sexy number and am making him
black bean and veggie enchiladas.
i am so excited that he is coming home!

this was like a month ago at stingaree
haha
i loveee seannnyyy

myspace is lame

I stink

I finally got a new job. It's at MAMA FU'S ASIAN HOUSE in austin. I'm excited, waitress! Now I will be making big cash on weekends to take home. I'm sooo ohapppypyy!!! but, I have to wear black pants, and I'm not into that. I don't look very good in black, and not even jeans, which would be kind of sexy. They have to be like cheesy dress pants. oh well, MONNEYY!!

and seans going to be home in like an hour, thank god
I miss him and he's cooking me dinner tonight
what a sweet boy
don't be suprised if you get an invitation to my wedding in the next year.

jk

I like to get high and watch Americas Funniest Home Videos. It makes me want a baby o' so very badly though. I want to be able to sit around while it's growing up to watch him/her do such funny things. &I'd like to add that Bill Cosby is right and kids do say the darndest things. I want my own kid to say the darndest things! I babysit for my friends Jenna and Hayes, they have a four year old, he's precious. Oh and my friend Carly just had her little baby girl on Sunday AND , Sean's bass player JohnMichael's wife is pregnant too, due in December. I want it to be my fucking turn!!!
Anyway; I live @ Post Oak Villas now and am (was) the only girl with flowers on the patio. Somehow, they both died. (not my bamboo though, that's in my house for goodluck) Now, the little grimlin of a neighbor I have has like six plants and they're all huge... and alive. I'm really supoer jealous of all her flowers and I want to go to a nursery now. BUT I have no money! Imagine that:
I'm out of a job now though, the last place I worked at was a bakery in San Antonio. It was a friend of my moms who opened Ruben's Bakery & Cafe. So I worked there (of course driving from san marcos to san antonio was a fucking bitch and a 1/2) for eight months or so and then, dun dun dun Cheri (owner) tells me all her checks have been bouncing and basically,.. I then bounced. And I didn't get paid for the last days I worked there. Now I'm looking for a new job in Austin and my friend Monica is trying to help me get a job at this golf course. avg. $20/hr. So now I'm in the process of learning to drive standard., and it's fucking hard! Monica said I did pretty good but I think I only did good on peeling out... like if there was a record for the most times peeling out learning to drive up a hill, I would win. I hope no one is reading this still. I am super bored and my hands get tired when I write in my lifejournal.
I just recently got the www back, well it's Seans computer. He is really good at things. He's really actually pretty perfect at everything. One day soon I'm going to get my camera back and take a picture of us so everyone can see what I'm always bragging about. I think after the middle stage of my teenage years, of being like the worst girl alive, I finally deserve something like this. I'm glad I finally got here! Now I know what love is, and what it smells like, and what it tastes like. it's as good as I always hoped it would. We think about getting married and I'd be a little Erin Faires. He thinks it sounds good, so I think it sounds good. ah it's good to be here
Lately, I've been lightheaded and naseaus. I should stop being high all the time. SYKE!
well I feel like coloring now

arrested development rules
being eighteen is the same
sean justin faires is my life
I need a job, in austin pref.
I'm a red head, imagine that
I'm off of probation today

my life kind of rules,
I think it will just go up now